Today’s column is dedicated to Southerners, those who cherish their heritage and continue the tradition of home cooking, country music, sweet tea, moon pies and grits.
This is not an article about Southerners being better than Northerners or anyone else for that matter, it’s just about who Southern people are.
In the north the word barbecue is a verb used to explain where food is cooked. In the south barbecue is a noun used to describe a beef or pork plate.
Southerners have pretty much attempted to fry every type of food known to man. Used WD-40 to fix basically everything, and planned vacations that revolve around either a muscle car or gun and knife show.
Every true southerner knows it’s dressing – not stuffing and it’s soda – not pop and groceries are put in a buggy – not a cart.
Baseball caps and T-shirts are worn to advertise everything near and dear.
Children are told to stop having a hissy-fit and most mamas call their young’uns by their first and middle name, especially if they’re misbehavin’.
Yes ma’am and no sir are the appropriate responses, waves are given to everyone in the neighborhood whether well-known or not, and the courtesy of holding a door open has not been lost.
Southerners monogram pretty much everything they own, view bologna as a food group and put football basically on the same level as going to church on Sunday.
They know how to wipeout a grocery store in the matter of a couple of hours if there’s even so much as a hint of a snowflake.
Every home has a bible somewhere in the house.
Southerners are not afraid to make eye contact, in fact talking to strangers is viewed as good manners.
The word fixin’ is used more often to describe an activity about to take place than it is about repairing something.
It is not uncommon to hear someone’s heart being blessed or a stranger being called honey or sweetie.
But most importantly there’s a reason for the expression southern hospitality, it seems it shows who’s who.
— Marla Ballard’s Who’s Who appears in the Times-Journal Thursday editions.