Last week, I wrote about three of my most commonly lost items. This week, I want to share a few more such items. I would begin by recapping those first three lost items, but I’ve lost the list! If I remember correctly, those three were my keys, cell phone, and remote controls. I still haven’t found my keys, but here are a few more things I have lost.
4. Cars. Now, I know you are probably asking, “How could you possibly lose a car?” Well, I can tell you from experience, you can. Usually, I simply forgot where I parked. This is often a problem at the club where I play racquetball, because there are two almost identical parking areas on each side of the complex. To simplify confusion, I usually try to park on the same side every time. This also prevents me from looking like I’ve lost my mind as I wander around the parking lot searching for my truck. Then there was that one time, when after a Braves’ baseball game, I couldn’t find my car. That was because a thief had driven it off. That time I had not lost the key to my car, but the car to my key!
5. Homework. How many educators have heard, “I lost my homework,” or the infamous “The dog ate it?” I don’t know that I ever actually lost my homework, but I did lose a couple of research papers...no, honestly. When I was in college, I lost a completed ten-page research paper. Have you ever stood on your head, in an apartment dumpster, searching through the garbage? It’s not much fun, and I’m sure not a pretty site, but that time it paid off, because that’s exactly where I found my paper. I guess I knew all along that paper was garbage. Years later, I lost over 30 pages of my doctoral dissertation when they miraculously disappeared into cyber space. Aren’t computers a wonderful invention? Backup, backup, backup!
6. Glasses/Sunglasses. Have you ever asked, “Have you seen my glasses?” and hear, “Silly, they are on top of your head?” Even worse is when they answer, “Check your nose.”
7. Rings. I have lost two wedding bands. No, you misunderstood. I did not lose two bands that played music at my wedding. I didn’t even have a band at my wedding. I have lost two wedding rings and both times involved gloves. I lost one playing church-league softball. I think as I ran in from the outfield, with blazing fast speed, I might add, I pulled off my glove and my ring came off with it. Another time I had been working in the yard when I later realized I didn’t have my ring. One day, sometime later, Jean used my yard gloves and discovered my lost ring hiding out in the finger of my glove.
8. Wallet. Wallets sometimes simply run away. They will wiggle out of your pocket and hide under a seat cushion, the crack of a car seat, or fall to the floor. Guys, always check the bathroom floor first. There usually isn’t enough money in my wallet to get too worked up over, but there is all those important cards.
Well, this could be a continuing subject that I go on with until Christmas, maybe of next year, but I have other things to write about. As I think about all the things I’ve lost, I am thankful for the things I haven’t lost. At the top of that list is my faith in Christ, my love for my wife and family, and at least to this point, and even in a pandemic, my health.
— Bill King is a native of Rainsville, where he and his wife graduated from Plainview High School. King is a director of missions in Opelika, a writer, musician and author. His column appears in the Times-Journal weekend edition. Visit brobillybob.com for more information.