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I knew I had missed the beginning of the game, but I figured as early as it was that neither team had scored yet. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the opponent already had ten. The score was ten to nothing. That’s like a touchdown, extra point, and a field goal, except I’m not talking a…

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Part of the American dream is to own a home. Building one is perhaps the biggest project in the life of most families. The average house takes about six months to build. Jean and I have owned four houses. One of those we had built. I’ve often heard people say if a marriage can survive having…

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My favorite season of the year has finally arrived. In case you think I’m talking about fall, you would absolutely be one-hundred percent right...well, at least partly. Weather wise, autumn certainly is my favorite time of year. The older I get, the fluffier I grow, and the further south I l…

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Which came first, the chicken or the chicken sandwich? I know, but it makes about as much sense as that chicken and egg question. I say that not only because I am a creationist, but also because if the egg came first, who sat on it? A friend said he ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon s…

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The summer of 1969 has been the topic of much discussion this year. I can hardly believe this is the fiftieth anniversary of that year. Two major events took place that summer. Apollo 11 and American astronauts went to the moon, and hippies and young people went to Woodstock. Mama wouldn’t l…

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This morning, I’m sitting here thinking it doesn’t get much better than this. It is still early. The sun is up and so I am. Everything is quiet. I’m sitting on a sixth floor balcony, drinking coffee, and looking out across the Gulf of Mexico. There is a huge ship in the far distance. A few p…

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There is a mysterious door in my house. We don’t always know what or who is on the other side of a door. When a doorbell rings, most instantly wonder who is on the other side of the door. We may even have a peep hole or window that allows us to see who’s there. We never have to worry about t…

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The temperature in Opelika today was 92, with a heat index of 425, but summer has ended. In case you are wondering about that heat index, it was baking. Fall has not fallen yet, but summer is unofficially over, because school has started.

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I love words. I especially enjoy hearing how we use words – most of the time. I must admit that sometimes I am annoyed by things people say, but I usually find them amusing. Sometimes we use the wrong words, or like Barney Fife used to do, we mispronounce words. Sometimes we contradict ourse…

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My grandson Drew and I celebrated birthdays this week. Drew hit double digits and I hit double old! Our birthdays are only two days apart – plus several decades. We wanted to do something special for our birthdays this year. Drew had mentioned he wanted to go to Six Flags over Georgia. I’ve …

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This really has been no week at the beach, but we were close...about ten miles, to be exact. That’s about as close to seeing the white sands and blue water of the Gulf of Mexico as I have come this week. I’m sitting in the fellowship hall of Temple Baptist Church, in Lynn Haven, Florida. It …

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Twenty years ago, I saw a movie called “The Horse Whisperer.” Robert Redford played the lead role. The story was based on the real life of Dan “Buck” Brannaman. Brannaman was a cowboy who had a mystical ability to calm unruly horses by talking to them. He said he spoke the horse’s language.

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During the summer months, while Drew has been out of school, he has spent weekdays with his Gigi and me. I take off on Fridays and those are usually boy’s play-days for us, or boy’s day out. Our typical Fridays begin with a biscuit run. No, that is definitely not any kind of exercise. We dri…

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For about as long as I can remember, I have loved the Fourth of July. It has never been my favorite holiday, for reasons I will discuss, but it is certainly among my top three or four. Honestly, Christmas has always been my favorite, but not always for the right reason. As a kid, I loved Chr…

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I have a serious problem. Well, serious might be an overstatement, but it is as least an uncomfortable situation. I live in the deep-south, summer has arrived, and my home’s air-conditioner keeps going out. The breaker keeps tripping. The first time this happened, I didn’t realize the proble…

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Now, before you call a game warden or get yourself all worked up in a lather (without being in the shower), please read on. I’m not advocating any unlawful activity. Night hunting is illegal in Alabama, except I think for hunting coyotes. Hunting season is over anyway, but there are a few th…

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I wondered why I had not gone the other way. I saw the train up ahead, but it was moving along at a pretty good clip. Opelika is called “A Railroad Town,” so waiting on trains happens often. I figured this one wouldn’t be long, and since I needed to stop at the chicken-finger place on the ot…

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The summer sizzle seems to have shown up early in Alabama this year. Our family pool is open and they tell me the water is fine. Everyone, as well as everything it seems, except me, has jumped in. My family loves our pool, but so do all kinds of critters... especially frogs. Each summer, I f…

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I didn’t care much for it when I was a child. My parents ate it quite often, but I found its taste too strong for my liking. Now, all these years later, I could eat it every day. It is an old southern treat that was actually a staple a generation or two ago. It is called sorghum. It is a typ…

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Mama was the disciplinarian in our house, at least for me. I’m not sure about when my siblings were growing up because they were already drawing their social-security by the time I came along. Okay, I’m teasing and exaggerating, but they were several years older than me, so I don’t remember …

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Recently, I had the joy of touring one of the best tasting countries in the world, with a wonderful group of people known as The Recycled Teenagers. Hopefully, you read about us a couple of weeks ago. I want to tell you about some of the wonderful things we saw, but first I want to write abo…

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On a Sunday evening, in January of 2015, fourteen-year-old John Smith had a couple of his school friends over to spend the night. The next morning, on their way to shoot basketball at an area recreation center near St. Louis, the boys spotted a frozen lake. They decided to walk out of the ic…

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Jean and I have had the joy of spending the past two-weeks touring southern Italy, with a group known as “Opelika’s Recycled Teenagers.” In ten days, we traveled over one thousand miles together, by motor-coach, across some of the most beautiful country I’ve ever seen. According to the Fit-B…

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As a teenager, I had an after-school and Saturday job working in my brother’s paint and body shop. A camper sales business, owned by a man whom we called “Quail,” was located next door to our shop. Quail became a good friend of ours, but we enjoyed “messing with him.” His real name was Mr. P…

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I’ve lost more wedding rings than the Kent State Golden Flashes have lost football games. Well, not really. They’ve lost over 500, but I have lost several. I wore my first one until the backside of it broke in two. Since then, I’ve lost count as to how many I’ve had. I lost one playing churc…

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Last Monday morning, I went to see the Today Show live, or at least a portion of it. It was not my first time to see the program in person, but it was my first time at that location.

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Last week, as you no doubt know, killer tornadoes ripped through our state, once again. The EF-4 twisters ripped through a rural community, outside of Beauregard, killing twenty-three people there and wounding one-hundred. The storms went on to destroy property in Smiths Station, Eufaula, an…

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Last Saturday evening, a large group of us gathered together for an enjoyable evening at Providence Baptist Church, in Beauregard. Beauregard is a bedroom community of Opelika/Auburn. The occasion was an annual fellowship of Alabama Baptist District-Four Disaster Relief teams. Some call us “…

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If you are a regular reader of mine, you know about our dogs Cocoa and Ginger. They are also known as Sixty-Five and Fifteen. I nicknamed them according to their weight. Neither of them seems to mind these nicknames, but as I think about it, I sure hope nobody decides that’s a good idea and …

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Valentine’s Day 2002, was on a Thursday, just like this year. I don’t think Jean has had a Valentine’s Day date with me since then.

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Ever said, “I would walk to the end of the earth for you?” Really? There are a few slight problems with that statement. Where is the end of the earth? Unless I am mistaken, the earth is round; therefore, it has no ends, unless you count space. That being the case, it is impossible to walk to…

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I was driving up I-65, south of Montgomery, when I saw one for the first time. I had seen more billboards than fire-ant mounds by the sides of the highway. Most read, “Call me Alabama,” but others said, “You know who to call,” or “One call, that’s all.” This particular billboard was differen…

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What we have experienced over the past few days is what Mama would have called “A cold snap.” I think she called it that because everything was so cold that whatever we picked up might “snap” in two. Our house didn’t have gutters, so when it rained, water ran off everywhere. In freezing weat…

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Lenny Don Buttermilk, aka Blow Gum, called his ole buddy Billy Bob Bohannon and invited him to go fishing. Blow Gum said, “I’ll pick you up right before daylight. We’ll take my boat.” He actually arrived about ten after – ten after daylight, that is. Billy Bob loaded up his equipment and the…

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Almost every person over the age of forty has already said, “I can’t believe another year has come and gone.” Well, I am definitely over that age, and I have already made that statement. If you’ve ever driven down a country highway, going much faster than you should have, the fence posts run…

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We didn’t get a truck load of Christmas presents, but we always got something. The good thing about that was we didn’t have any problem deciding which one to play with. Occasionally, we got something big. One year I got a wagon, one year a bicycle, and one year a Daisy BB gun. Most years it …

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Once upon a time, long, long ago, there lived a young lady named Mary. Mary was engaged to be married to a man named Joseph. Before they were married, and while she was still a virgin, Mary was found to be with child. God sent an angel named Gabriel to explain to Mary what was happening. Gab…

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One Christmas song says it is the most wonderful time of the year, yet for some, Christmas can be the most difficult time of the year. I completely understand. I’ve been there.

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In the great state of Alabama, you are either an Auburn Tiger Fan or a University of Alabama fan. The first words uttered by our children are not Mama or Dada, they are War Eagle or Roll Tide.

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Well, it is that time of year once again and the season has officially begun. I know that much of the male portion of our population is simply beside themselves with excitement. No, I’m not talking about football season. About all that is left of that are the conference championships, bowl g…

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One of life’s small enjoyable activities, or at least I think so, is that daily trip to the mailbox. No, I don’t mean the one when you place mail in the box. I’m talking about the one when you retrieve what the postman has delivered. Oh, I agree, occasionally, the mail is not good. Anytime I…

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I had gone to do a humorous program for a large family reunion at a church. I heaped up mounds of home-cooked southern delicacies so high on my plate that I should have added sideboards. I was the first one to sit down, so I had my pick of any table in the fellowship hall. I prepared to dig …

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Ken Smith and I met when I was ten and he was twelve. He and his family had moved in across the street from my family. They moved into the house where my friend John Ed had lived. John Ed was two years older than me too. John Ed had taught me to pass a football (with a spiral), ride a bicycl…

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The early years of his life were hard ones. He grew up dirt poor, like so many others of his generation. He was born in 1928. The Great Depression lurked around the corner. He said of those days, “My family really couldn’t tell much difference during the depression because we were already de…

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My alter ego, Billy Bob Bohannon, had been invited to speak at the Left Fork Baptist Church.

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I sure am glad that God called on Noah, rather than me. I’m fairly convinced, had I built an ark to rescue a remnant of the righteous, we would have had a problem. My boats don’t float.

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Our house in Opelika came with a few extra features, which included a swimming pool, a backyard stream and a muscadine vine. Drew was born the weekend we moved in. For the first few years there, neither Drew, nor I, was tall enough to reach most of the muscadines. As far back as I can rememb…

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Mama used to tell me, occasionally, that I was getting a little too big for my britches. That is another one of those good old Southern expressions, but it actually originated back in the old days of England. It means that one has become a little overconfident in his importance, skill, or au…